I Turned 35, And Finally Let Go of the Bullsh*t

I turned 35 yesterday. And this year, the birthday didn’t feel like a celebration, it felt like a confrontation.

Because for most of my 20s and early 30s, I told myself I could figure it out alone. And all it got me was burnout, shame, and a body that felt completely out of sync with the life I’d built.

This episode is different.

It’s not a list of tips. It’s the full story of how I went from ending up in the ER from ulcerative colitis and metabolic damage… to leading from the front as a corporate professional, coach, husband, and soon to be father, who finally feels like the man I’m supposed to be.

Inside, I’ll walk you through:
The breaking point that shattered my pride
What I learned from 3 different coaches (and what I’ll never do to my own clients)
The system I built from my pain, my profession, and my truth

Why I still use that same system to this day, while working a 9–5, managing my UC, and building a business.

If you’re done winging it. If your reflection doesn’t match the man you are at work. If you know it’s time to stop guessing...

DM me “DESIGN” on Instagram.
Let’s build your system.

If this episode hit home, make sure you’re subscribed. This is Fitness by Design, the podcast for high-performing men ready to stop winging it and start leading with their body.

For more stories, strategies, and hard truths:

Follow me on Instagram – @spencerhgallo
Connect with me on LinkedIn – Spencer Gallo
Or shoot me a text, I read every single one.

Let’s keep building your edge, one episode at a time.

Transcript

0:37

I turned 35 yesterday, and I'm gonna be honest with you, this birthday hit a little different, and it's not because I'm scared of getting older, it's because I'm finally old enough to see through all of the excuses that got me to here. Because most of my twenties and early thirties, I just told myself the same thing that every single one of you listening has said at some point. I can figure this out on my own. And for a long time, I tried. I tried every plan out there, every motivational podcast, motivational book, self-help book, every influencer tip. But no matter what I followed, I always ended up in the same place, burnt out full of shame and just starting over again until I finally did the one thing that I swore that I didn't need, and I asked for help. This is Fitness by Design. I'm Coach Spencer, and today I'm gonna give you the full truth behind how I finally stopped pretending and built a system that I now coach other men through every single day. Because before I was a coach, before this podcast, hell, before Gallo Fitness even existed, or was a thought in my mind. I was just another exhausted guy trying to survive the daily corporate grind. The 50, 60 hour work weeks, the long commutes, longer meetings, 12 to 14 hour days from the time I left the house to the time that I got home. I wasn't lazy, I was just tired, and I coped. The only way that I knew how in my twenties numbing it away. And in my twenties, that was burgers, beers, fries, and most nights I didn't even drop off my work bag before I went straight to the bar. And it wasn't for fun. It was just to kind of relax and numb away the pain from the day. Well, that subsequently left the weight slowly creeping on. Five pounds, became 15, then 30, then 40, and I told myself, it's fine. I've got a good job. I have a great salary. I'll figure it out. And I was wearing my older brother's hand-me-downs, looser clothes to hide my body. I was avoiding the mirrors. I was avoiding eye contact. I wasn't confident in meetings, and I was just avoiding the reality that my health had finally slipped away. Well, one morning I was climbing the stairs of the office and I had that, oh fuck moment standing on the landing because I couldn't catch my breath walking up two flights. And that's when it hit me. I don't even recognize this version of myself anymore. I wasn't performing anymore. I wasn't a high achiever like I used to be. I was just surviving and barely at that. And like most of you listening, I had tried everything. The men's health workouts ripped straight from the magazines or now their website, bodybuilding.com, shred plans and weight loss challenges. Keto fasting. I even dabbled with 75 hard and failed like you keep doing. And at one point I followed all of these plans to a point that I cut my carbs down to 25 grams a day. Now for reference, that is half of a plain bagel. I was miserable. I. I was starving. I started snapping at people that I cared about and I was watching others live their lives while I forced down dry chicken and brown rice, calling it discipline. I was doing two a day workouts, hitting an hour long lift in the morning, followed by an hour of cardio going to work, and then having another hour long cardio session at night. And I just kept telling myself, well, if I follow the plan exactly, the progress is gonna come. And it did. But it never lasted for me. Every time that the plan failed, I would blame myself. I wasn't disciplined enough. I didn't want it bad enough, but that wasn't the real problem. The real problem was that I was following advice for people that didn't live my life. They didn't have ulcerative colitis. They didn't work a full-time, 50, 60 hour work week job. They didn't commute three to four hours a day, and they sure as shit did not understand the stress tax that came from living a corporate life. But I listened to all these bodybuilders and influencers anyways because I thought asking for help was weak. So I just stuck with the internet, stuck with Instagram, and followed bodybuilders that I looked at and said, you clearly know what you're doing. I'm gonna follow you. Well, it turns out refusing that help was ultimately my real weakness. There was not some cinematic rock bottom moment where I just had this gigantic realization. It was just a random Saturday morning. I was laying hungover on the couch and I had no energy, and no, it wasn't because I was hungover, but it was because I realized that I was feeling like a complete and utter shell of who I was supposed to be. I remember thinking to myself like, man, if I don't fix this, I don't think I'm gonna make it till 30. And then a few weeks later, it was at my grandparents' house in the Finger Lakes and it was a balmy 80 degrees and sunny, and I was freezing cold. I was down 60 pounds in six months, and it wasn't from results, but from male nourishment. My uc had flared up. The medication I was taking, I found I was allergic to, and I landed in the er. I couldn't eat or drink. Anything without it coming out within an hour, either on the top or the bottom, and I had massive abdominal cramps and for two weeks straight, I had to sleep at a 45 degree angle and lost 20 pounds in those two weeks. When I checked into the er, I was dehydrated, wrecked, and just exhausted. When they hit me with the IV and put those pain meds in, I passed out because it was the first time that I had had relief in weeks. And even then, once I came to, I just told myself like, ah, it's fine. I'm just, I'm off track. I gotta get back to it. And that was the lie that nearly killed me because I didn't need a new plan. I needed a better system, and I needed one that actually worked for my life. So I did what I do best and I started thinking like an engineer. Now I do wanna pause here and say something very important. I didn't do it all because I quote, figured it out on my own. It happened because I finally let go of my pride. Sure. I decided to become a certified personal trainer, but I still hired coaches, and it's not because I didn't have the knowledge to get results for myself, but because I firmly believe in letting people with more knowledge help me grow. Now, over the years, I have hired three different coaches and every single one of them taught me something. Each one revealed a blind spot that I couldn't see. And admittedly, each one taught me a way that I choose not to coach my own clients, and each one brought me a little bit closer to that vision of what Gallo Fitness has become today. I. Now, my first coach was great. We're still friends. He delivered the program through Google Sheets though, and as a technology engineer, I knew that was not something that I was gonna do, which is ultimately why I have my own app. My second coach did a majority of his communication and feedback through Instagram, which I personally didn't love. He's again, still a dear friend. But I personally like to keep all of my things centralized in one location, which is that app makes things a lot easier, and I just found that having to go to Instagram to get my check-in feedback just didn't feel like how I wanted to coach my clients. And then my last coach was a member of a much larger team, and I had invested a much larger sum in working with them only to find out that they had 150 clients for one coach, which meant in a standard 40 hour work week. I had less than 10 minutes of my coach's attention each week, and I knew that I was never gonna do that to my clients, which is why I always keep a smaller roster because it allows me and my clients to have a much more personal relationship and not just feel like another number in a bank account. Because ultimately being a coach doesn't mean that I stopped learning. It just means that I demand better for myself because I ask for that same standard from my clients. So if you're still telling yourself that you should be able to do this alone, I get it. I was there, but at 35 years old now that story just doesn't serve me anymore. And honestly, man, it's not serving you either. It's time to stop chasing those extremes to stop starving yourself. Stop pretending that another motivational podcast or an influencer workout is gonna get you the results. Instead, it's time to start building a system for your real life. Fueling your body without just constantly undereating because you have to be in a calorie deficit training for strength and improving your metabolism, not just chasing soreness or sweaty shirts after a workout. Learning how to install guide rails that keep you on track even when your life gets chaotic, because let's be real, it's going to get chaotic and honestly using optimal ranges to see where your lab work sits. No more listening to your doctor when they say everything looks fine, when you still know how you feel, and it's anything but fine. I built this system that I had searched for for over a decade so that you can regain that energy you had in your twenties, the confidence that you felt when you got that first promotion and a closet full of clothes that you are proud to wear again, but more importantly, it's so that you aren't guessing what to do, when to do it, or how to do it anymore, because I'm still working my nine to five with 12 to 15 hour door to door days, the constant meetings, site visits, and weekly project deadlines. I still work every single week to keep my ulcerative colitis in check, and I still have to balance all that chaos. That is my corporate life with running my coaching business, having my wife, dog, and child on the way. But now I lead from the front because I have done the work. I live it every single day. I have made nearly every mistake. There is every single breakthrough there is Every rep on the gym floor, in the er, in the mirror. I have engineered a system that works for corporate life. And that's the difference. I didn't just build a system because I could. I earned this system by living it. So if you're still in a place that I was sick of pretending, sick of winging it, sick of being the man that everybody respects in the office, but you still avoid your own reflection. Let this be your moment. I built this for you because I was you. So DM me Design on Instagram. Let's stop the guesswork, build you a system that finally reflects the man that you already are and should be.'Cause this is where everything changes for both of us. This is Fitness by design, and I'll see you in the next episode.